My vision is blurred by a pale incandescence. My focus finds the bottle green of the living leaves that are dangling on the trees above me. My fingers grasp the cool earth beneath me. My hair feels damp and my skin is cold. In the distance I hear the howl of a wild beast. The dawn is coming but I feel a calling from the night.

I feel an ache fill my hollow chest; an ache for a lost love. A cry escapes me as the darkness of distant memories holds me. The dawn spills golden light into the forest but I am already lost to the night. 

"Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels."

Hello!
I've moved back home from university finally, so this past week I have been unpacking and sorting out all of my things. My room is beginning to look like a room but I still have an unreal amount of books to find a place for. As you can see I have quite a large DVD collection too. Oh dear. 

At least this isn't over-crowded!

These shelves still need sorting. That bottom shelf is dipping in the middle. 

By the way I started a healthy weight loss blog on tumblr called http://40daysofthin.tumblr.com/. This records my weight loss progress. Anyway, I hope you are all well and I will try and post something more interesting soon. I promise!

Barcelona

I'm sorry I vanished for a few weeks. I couldn't log on to my blogger account and Google wouldn't let me reset it for ages. I managed to do it today though! Very happy. For now I am just going to post a few photographs that I took in Barcelona from two weeks ago. Enjoy!

Never love a vampire.

My mind is broken. I am torn. All I want is to be left. Don’t try to fix me because I’m not okay. I never will be. Just leave me alone. How can you love me if I hate you? I hate everyone. Just let me go. Oh, fuck off. Don’t be a martyr. Don’t suffer me. I’m not your responsibility. Someone once promised me that God would carry my soul. But, you see, I don’t have a soul. I’m pale and empty and that is beauty. My hate is self inflicted. I am completely selfish. Don’t- please just don’t make me feel bad. Don’t make me feel. Let me jump. I want to get lost in the incandescence of this breaking dawn. I will be immortal because I sold my dead soul. I will be ancient. Just don’t come with me. Leave. Just leave.

I am fractured; the flaws in me stand out like the tiny imperfections in cracked porcelain. If you look close enough you will see that my smile is a grimace, that the shine in my gaze is just a reflection of a glassy stare. My teeth are as white as a virgin’s wedding dressing, but the sharpness of them was made to penetrate you. There’s little difference between me and the night. The speckled light of the stars is just the remaining shards of my soul; scattered and distant. Their gleam is tarnished by the dark. 

Redrum

So I created a new blog: http://iamafraidofpeople.blogspot.com/. I am going to post all of my short stories on there. It's going to be pretty bleak at times, I must say!
Just a short up date:
I'm currently sitting in my university library doing what I am good at: procrastinating! I purchased a new book from Waterstones the other day: A Game of Thrones by George R. R. Martin. It's pure heaven at the moment- dark and wildly sexy (when I say sexy I mean the plot is very exciting, of course). I am also rereading The Shining by Stephen King. The Shining is one of my all-time favourites. 

"All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy."

Just a general update:
The last week and a half I have been attempting to catch up on all of my work. I had to return home from university for over a month because my father was unwell. Now he's back on the mend I can now take on the full load of work. I got a mark back for my dissertation literature review that I had completed whilst at home. I was certain I had done terribly because I completed it in around 10 hours but, I have to say, I'm very pleased with the mark I received! 

At the moment I am trying to grow nails because I want to wear beautiful nail varnish. However, as you can see, it doesn't look good at the moment. I would wear fake nails but considering I hand write most of my work before typing it up... well, it's just not going to work out, is it?
I have around six weeks to clear my room out as the contract on my house is nearly over! I'm quite looking forward to returning to the comforts of home, but I am especially looking forward to being able to see Shaun, my boyfriend every week! The thing is I have far too much stuff and my room back in County Durham looks very clean and nice at the moment. I won't throw any of my books away as that plainly feels like a crime but I have a lot of prints and posters that I may have to sell. It's going to be difficult... Does anyone want a big poster of Marlon Brando?...
What a babe, right? 

Clown in the Moon- Dylan Thomas

Clown in the Moon My tears are like the quiet drift Of petals from some magic rose; And all my grief flows from the rift Of unremembered skies and snows. I think, that if I touched the earth, It would crumble; It is so sad and beautiful, So tremulously like a dream. Dylan Thomas